When I was a younger lad, I had in my mind the idea that all lesbians were earthy and one with nature. I assumed they all wore Birkenstocks and had cats. They were all recyclers and aligned with Mother earth. We are not that kind of lesbian. Well, we have one cat but we don't really like him so I don't think that counts. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and so we find ourselves exploring more holistic opportunities. Ancient opportunities. Eastern opportunities. I speak of the ancient mystery known as fertility acupuncture. Yes, once again I am subjecting my self-respecting wife to the proverbial prick. Or ten. In the form of small acupuncture needles.
How, you ask, did it occur to us to explore the option of fertility acupuncture? Well, it was quite accidentally, actually. My beloved was perusing the pages of People magazine when she happened upon an article about Celine Dion (near, far, wherever you are...have fun getting that out of your head). In the article, Celine discussed the trials and tribulations of getting pregnant via IVF. I believe she tried somewhere along the lines of seven times unsuccessfully. In that article, she said she had fertility acupuncture and that was the time it worked. Coincidence? I don't know but we did a little research (thank goodness for the Internet and friends who enjoy the occasional "prick") and decided, eh, it can't hurt (of course, we confirmed that with our nurse and the acupuncturist and additional research). So, we made an appointment with an acupuncturist who worked under a MD (a little more reassuring for us, that whole medical license component) and opened our minds to learn about eastern medicine.
Not a bad appointment. The acupuncturist was very informative and very knowledgeable. She discussed the particular protocol tested several times across the pond in England and advised their office followed that same protocol. She discussed the differences in pregnancy rates between a test group of IVF participants with and without the fertility acupuncture. She gave us some handouts to read whilst we relaxed in a bubble bath...really, the best time to learn about eastern medicine. She was a super fast talker so I spent most of the consultation leaning forward, listening hard. Apparently, however, it was no effort for Heidi to understand her because as she advised me "I'm used to listening to you". LOL (Note to self: work on pacing the speed at which I talk.) The acupuncturist gave us the basic 411 on acupuncture and how it worked...think meridians, think blocked rivers with a "dam" problem with flows, think the five elements...really, it narrowed down to ancient eastern medicine in practice for about 3000 years and no one really "knows" how it works. Fantastic...sign us up.
And so, on our first date with the acupuncturist, we went all the way. An interesting experience but surprisingly pain-free. At least for me. :) Actually, for little Heidi as well. There were about thirteen needles in her baby making region (specifically, between her ribs and pelvic bone) and two needles in each ankle. Four of the needles on her uterus (uty, for short) had positive and negative proby-things.
And the best part for Heidi (or at least it would have been for me), were the little electrodes placed ever so gently on Heidi's ears that gave her the same head effect as a glass or two of wine, meant to relax her. And relax her it did.
And if that weren't enough, the whale song music in the background finished her off. She sat there for about twenty-five minutes, practicing her visualization. And laying on a table with a bunch of needles sticking out of her. Let me just say again, for the record, that while she said it didn't hurt, I continue to be amazed by the lengths my amazing wife will go through to make this happen. She didn't hesitate to explore and try this option. She laid there, listening to whales sing, visualizing, and hoping. This is one of the many, many, many reasons I am hopelessly in love with her. She amazes me.
Back to the pins and needles...so, after her first acupuncture experience, she is feeling pretty relaxed and a little tired...good stuff! That's what the acupuncturist said would happen. And we made an appointment for this Tuesday and plan to get the deed done the day of the embryo transfer, both before and after the transfer, in hopes of increasing our odds a little more.
What? What's that, you say? Transfer? What the hell else is going on? Well, we came back from vacation ready to go. Anxious and ready to make a baby. So, we aren't wasting any time. The first day of acupuncture was also the first day of Heidi's cycle. Day One. This Friday is Day Ten. So, we have an appointment with the fertility doctor for an ultrasound to measure the thickness of Heidi's uty and see where she is in the ovulation cycle. If she's ripe, we get a trigger shot and in a week, we go in for the transfer. If you remember, we have five frozen embryos. We're going to try to use those, all five if they survive the thaw, and see if that makes a baby.
What are our challenges between now and then? Well, not too much...this particular cycle won't have near the meds the full IVF had. We have a couple of acupuncture appointments (maybe I can try to sneak one in for myself...see if I can't cure this back pain) and then after the ultrasound, a few hcg shots and maybe some progesterone. Our big concern, aside from the obvious "Will we get pregnant?" comes with the thaw. We won't know if the embryos will survive the thaw until the day of the transfer. So, my dearest friends (and strangers alike), keep your fingers crossed and send positive vibes to our little spermsicles that they may defrost and anxiously implant into a warm, prepared, happy and healthy uty.
Here we go again. Eastern medicine meets western medicine. We will go to the ends of the earth to make this happen. Hopefully, this will be our time...the year of the baby.
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