Tales from the Ice Age (Or...Defrosting Frozen Embryos)

So, when we last left off, we were impatiently awaiting the arrival of a little thing called ovulation. On top of the big ovulation moment, we were also anxiously awaiting the transfer and more importantly, to learn how many embryos would survive the thaw. To save you the trouble of surfing back through previous posts, we had five frozen embryos waiting to be transferred into the warm innards of Ms. Heidi's uterus. Five...not bad numbers except that it was highly unlikely they would all survive the thaw. So, here we were, once again in the throes of antici...pation (said with the same articulation as Dr. Frank-n-Furter from Rocky Horror). We wouldn't know how many would survive until right before the anticipated transfer. Just to throw some irrelevant statistics out there, we have spent a total of sixty days throughout this process waiting for pregnancy test results. From time of insemination or IVF to blood test...a total of sixty days, that's nine plus weeks, two whole months. Just waiting. And here we were again...waiting. One would think that we would have become professional at it. But no. We are horrible at waiting.

As we wait, we continue our experimentation with eastern medicine. Our second acupuncture on March 6th had more needles added in addition to those previously added to the tummy. Somehow, eastern medicine says that adding hollow needles to Heidi's ears, that tiny spot between her eyes, along her hairline, and a few in the leg will help the fertility gods bless her baby making parts. This episode of sci-fi acupuncture finds Heidi wrapped in a silver mylar blanket for warmth. We were also introduced to a special Chinese herb cocktail via some kind of charcoal looking thing that was lit on fire and blown out and circled around the needles in her belly. We are told it is, in fact, not voo-doo. We are not so sure but hey, at this point, we're willing to do whatever it takes, even if it means summoning some unknown voodoo god. The acupunturist assures us that instead of voodoo, the ancient Chinese believed that this particular concoction would be absorbed through the acupuncture needles to increase circulation in the reproductive parts. The Chinese referred to it as getting the cold out of the belly. Yep. That's what we did. We got the cold out of the belly.

On March 9th, we go back to Dr. Weldon's office. We are so excited to be back! Heidi bakes brownies for the girls (because we all know fertilization and implantation is more successful with chocolate!). We are welcomed with big hugs from Pam and Tana (our favorite nurses...ever!). Then we head back to the exam room. Now, it takes a moment for us to realize that the last time we were in this room, we got pregnant. It takes my breath away, even now, thinking about it. The last time...pregnant. The only thing that could pull us back from this reverie of sadness was, of course, Pam and Tana, entering the room as my wife sat half-naked on the exam table because they missed us so much. They wanted to come visit while we waited on Dr. Weldon. Did I mention Heidi was half naked? Bottom half? I did...

So, after some half-naked chitchat, Dr. Weldon came in to do his doctorly business. He measured Heidi's uterine lining, which was right where she was supposed to be on a natural cycle. He made sure she had a dominant follicle…she did. Heidi, if you fail to remember, is an over-achiever. She wouldn't dare have a less than dominant follicle! That's just how she rolls. As an aside, not in a creepy way, but in a grandfatherly way, Dr. Weldon said Heidi had a cute little uterus while pointing to it on the screen. How many of you can say that? That's right. My wife has dominant follicles and a cute uterus. Booyah!

Off we go back home to wait for Heidi's LH surge (fancy talk for starting her ovulation). We invested in some home ovulation predictor tests (which, by the way, we totally should have bought stock in...those and preggar tests). Heidi starts her regiment of pre-natal vitamins, baby aspirin, and prednisone. Her much anticipated progesterone injections will begin after ovulation starts.

We work on positivity. We know that this time it will work...if we could just get to the transfer!

Well, Heidi's ovulatory cycle decided to be a little stubborn. It may be that she wasn't jacked up on a bunch of drugs before this...we relied on good, old-fashioned ovulation (the only thing missing was an icky boy!!!). Since we did not get a positive LH surge over the weekend, Dr. Weldon wanted us to come back in on Monday to take another look and make sure Heidi didn't sneak in ovulation without being predicted. She did not. Instead, she got a little gift from the nurse...a HCG trigger shot that will make her ovulate. We schedule "The Transfer" for Monday the 19th. She starts her progesterone injections on Thursday. Ah...I have missed these special moments with Heidi, injecting stuff into her tiny-hiney. We still had special Disney bandaids for the occassion. We go back to Dr. Weldons on Saturday for a blood test to measure the progesterone in case it needs to be adjusted...she's good to go. Why? Uh, because I'm the injector and I don't mess up! Intended in the most appropriate way possible, I can stick an ass better than most. :P

On March 14th, Heidi goes back, again, for a little eastern medicine. We are planning on having this session, then one immediately before and immediately after the transfer. Transfer day will be a busy day for Heidi...acupuncture, transfer, acupuncture, and hopefully a nap!

March 19th arrives. Transfer Day. The big day. The day starts. Early. Our transfer is scheduled for 9:30. That means we have to be in Tampa for acupuncture in time to do that and get to Lutz. We get the first round of sticky stuff (Heidi even took one in the ear with her...good luck, you know!). Then we head to Dr. Welden's office. Sitting in the waiting room is long. Remember, we don't even know yet if we can do the transfer because we don't know if the embryo's are going to survive the thaw. They don't do the thaw until close to the time of the transfer. So, to be a little punny, Heidi was on pins and needles for the second time that day. (Ha...PUN-ny. Get it? Moving on...)

So, Dr. Bill, our embryologist comes into the waiting room. Now, you have to know that Dr. Bill is pretty straight-laced. Very solemn and doctorly like. He comes into the waiting room looking somber and prepared to deliver bad news. Yep. That's when my heart dropped. Pretty sure Heidi's did to. Damn Dr. Bill and his somber persona. He came out to advise that three embryos survived. That is not the look of surviving embryo's! Damn you Dr. Bill! In typical Dr. Bill fashion, his somber look was not indicative of doom. Instead, he wanted to know if we wanted to see the embryo's before the transfer. He said that we could, but he preferred to not expose them to light too much. We were fine with just a picture of the kiddies. We weren't interested in overexposure here! He also informed us of the great quality of the embryo's...two were AAA rated (I think that's the right rating) and the third was even starting to hatch! . So...we were golden (eggs)! We could do the transfer. We went back and much like the previous IUI's, Heidi stripped down and Dr. Welden got his insemination on. Dr. Bill was there holding our embryo's in the tube (kind of makes you think of a test tube baby, doesn't it?). Once Dr. Welden found his way in, the embryo's were set free in Heidi's uterus.

Afterward, back to the acupuncturist. Second time in one day. At this point, Heidi just shoots water out of various holes in her body because of all of the needle marks. I was only slightly envious as she also received a massage. I mean, this is all about her, but there was some tension kicking in my shoulders that could have stood to be rubbed out!

And so we wait. Again. Ten days until the blood test. I think we finally move from amatuer waiting to professional waiting.