Time to put the kids to bed...

Captain's Log - August 2, 2011: What does one do with a bunch of fertilized blastocysts? Well, in our case, five days later, you put them back where they came from...or as the title says, "put the kids to bed". So, for five whole days, we listened to progress reports about the fertilized eggs. We kept our fingers crossed and when the morning of the transfer came, well, we got delayed. The embryologist wanted to wait just a wee bit longer and have the transfer happen in the afternoon, giving the embryos a little more time to develop. Perhaps a few hours isn't very long in the whole scope of the history of the world, but when you are waiting to make a baby, a few hours is almost a lifetime.

So 3:30 finally comes. We've had lunch. We're ready. This is it. Time to become mommies! We get to the doctor's office and you can just feel the excitement in the air. The nurses are just as excited as we are. Just a little aside here, if I haven't mentioned it yet in a past blog, I want to mention it now...we have the most amazing nurses imaginable. They have cried with us. They have been happy with us. They have answered our questions. They have been there every step of the way, being reassuring, informative, silly when necessary, being available by text no matter what time a random question arose, just the most amazing couple of gals we could ever have hoped for (they're names are Pam and Tana by the way...they are identifiable by more than just the moniker of "Our Nurses".) Back to us, so we were in the waiting room, which was unusually crowded that day, trying to sit still, but oh my gosh, seriously? Are we eight year olds going to Disney? Because that's how it felt. Funny little story...one of the office gals comes out to us and advises us that Dr. Welden has an intern in the office today and wants to know if we would be okay if he observed the procedure. I laughed a little because, well, boys aren't supposed to see Heidi's who-ha. It is the golden grail, people...it is not just "there" for everyone to see! Of course, that wasn't Heidi's feeling. She said, "Well, everyone else has seen it, what's one more person." What? Does she have no respect for the sanctity of the...oh, nevermind, fine. He can observe. I do manage to tell the office gal, however, that if he so much as touches her or stares too long, he should be advised that I have no problem body tackling him right in the procedure room. She promises to relay the message.

So, it's finally time. A little later than scheduled, but that's ok. Just a little longer for our little embryos to grow and at this stage, every hour matters. We go back to the lab and get to see our potential future child/children on a little screen. Five beautiful, perfectly developed (textbook, if you believe our fabulous embryologist)embryos. We take a moment to recognize the gravity of this. These could be our child or children. There they are...on the screen. They were in a little refrigerator and could only be out for a few moments, but there they were...on a TV screen. Quite frankly, who gets to see this? Most women get to see a line or two on a stick after they had a little slip. This is no slip for us. This is the most intentional thing we've ever done! And there was the proof...looking amazingly, well, amazing. What? What you say? You want to see them? Why, your wish is my command! Our first public picture of our potential child/children...




So, the kids are alright (ironic reference to a movie we saw at the beginning of this process). Now, we prepare for the procedure. This one is a lot easier than the aspiration. It's actually very similar to IUI, only the embryologist is in the room with with a tube full of our potential heirs. Actually, only two of our potential heirs are being placed back into the motherland (hahaha...the best reference ever!). The other three are being frozen in case, well, you get it. In case. After the transfer, Dr. Welden asked us if we wanted to pray. Now, if you know us, you know that we are not religious folk. We tend to be very spiritual, but not religious. However, if there was ever a moment when prayer seemed appropriate, this was it. We were making a baby, a miracle even when done in the traditional sense. We were not traditional. As such, we definitely needed any extra divine intervention we could get. So, there we were...the mommies to be, Dr. Welden, Dr. Clark, an intern afraid of being tackled by a lesbian and Pam the nurse. We all held hands while Dr. Welden said a little prayer. And yes, my friends, I cried. I cried with the hopes and possibilities and anticipation that only someone trying so hard to make a baby with the woman she loved could cry with...I just did it a little more quietly than the heaping sobs you would have expected. I was touched. Deeply.

So, after putting the kids to bed, we hung out for our standard twenty minute wait, thinking about what this meant. This was our first in vitro and hopefully our last. Our chances were increased with this. Statistically, this was our time. It was what we had fought so hard for. It's what Heidi had endured so much for, her tiny little body taking shots and pills and probes and blood draws. So many hopes and then let-downs. So many tears. So much had gone into this moment...this was it. This was our moment.