Doing the math...

Today represents 70, yes, 7-0 shots given to Heidi since the beginning of our "vitamin" endeavor. 70 times she's lifted her shirt, let me rub a cold alcohol swab across her little belly and then stick her on one side or the other and inject her with chemicals designed to make her follicles not grow, then designed to make them multiply and grow. Today, we stop those shots and at midnight, we do one more shot...one to make them mature. Thirty-four hours from that shot will be one of three very major moments we have remaining in this, our last journey. Thirty-four hours from midnight tonight we aspirate.

Over the last seventeen days, we have had a regimen of doctor visits, shots and oh yea, we can't forget, cleaning up puppy poop. Not really a vital component to fertility, but definitely worthy of mention. Why would poop be relevant to this blog? Well, first I will direct you to the last blog wherein I informed you, my dear reader, of our adoption. Second, I will direct you further to the end of said blog to remind you of my intent to effectuate a little duplicity upon the universe. Alas, the universe seems to have uncovered my attempted deception and has paid me back in triplicate by providing me with sleepless nights, countless piles of poop, puddles of pee and a missed opportunity to invest in Bounty and/or Lysol wipes. Checkmate, Universe, checkmate...

So, throughout the injection of closely timed doses of lupron and follistem and ovidrel (oh my!), we have managed to create quite the collection of follicles. There are enough eggs in my little wifey to make the matron of any henhouse proud. Our first "measure" visit netted about twelve follicles progressing quite nicely. This is more than our last try by three...so this is good; more is good! Our schedule for the next couple of weeks will involve various trips across the pond to see Dr. Welden so he can count and measure follicles. Each trip to count and measure will hopefully amount to about 2 mm per day of growth. Doesn't sound like a lot BUT when you have a dozen follicles in there, growing at 2 mm per day in a really small space, well, it can definitely get a little crowded. For those of you gals really attuned to your girly parts...know how some months you can feel what side you ovulate from? Well, that's one egg. One. Let's revisit simple multiplication. What is one times twelve? Come on, seriously? I sense some of you looked up to do the math in your head. LOL It's twelve. So if you can feel one egg move when you ovulate, magnify that by twelve hanging out in your ovary. Get my point? Oh, and you suck at math. :)

This point in our journey is pretty critical. We are doing so many things at the same time, with everything being so calculated. The Lupron is draining Heidi of estrogen. This is the intent, however, it is not exactly fun for Heidi. By a show of hands...who has hit or is hitting menopause? Same effect. The girl who is cold in the dead of summer is now having hot flashes all the time. And, um, well, how do I say this the nice way...low estrogen can also lead to, well, um, a bit of emotional behavior. I'm sure I've mentioned in a past post that Heidi is not prone to emoting uncontrollably. Not so much the case with low estrogen. She sent a text to our nurse asking if it was normal, the nurse said, "yes, it's normal. You're beautiful and everyone loves you." Heidi cried. Add Kleenex to the list of items we should have invested in... After a blood test to measure her estrogen to confirm that they are, in fact, trying to throw her into menopause, we learned her level was 4. For a little estrogenial perspective, when she did her last IVF, her level was over 1300. Just a tiny difference (if you believe that, you really are mathematically inhibited). So our first week of IVF fertility mirrored that of a 54-year-old woman on the cusp of menopause.

Back to measuring...our next visit netted favorable results. The future eggs are maturing at just the right pace. Labor day began the introduction of follistem to our shot regimen. It's as handy-dandy pen used to inject very expensive medicine into Heidi's little bruised belly. We have two vials of follistem to inject through this process, designed to help those little follicles develop and multiply. So, two shots in the morning, one shot in the evening. Oh and prenatal vitamins every day.

With the introduction of the follistem, we had to make more visits to the doctor for more frequent measuring and counting. One of the risks with using meds to stimulate follicle growth is the risk of hyper-stimulation syndrome. I would interject that contrary to what my 17-year-old mind would translate this to, it is not sexual in nature. It has to do with over-stimulating her ovaries. Monitored, it shouldn't happen. Unmonitored, it could actually be very dangerous. So, more trips across the little pond known as Tampa Bay. Each visit nets us the same favorable results...excellent growth and at seemingly each visit, more follicles are located. We went from twelve to fourteen.

In the past week, we have been back to the doctor's office for, you guessed it, measuring and counting, four times. Each time, on track. Today was a great visit...fifteen follicles measured. Yea, measured. There are more follicles growing in my little tiny wife's body, but we only measured fifteen. Most measured around 16 mm. And now the pièce de résistance...drumroll please...Heidi's uterine lining measured in at a little over 14. Dr. Welden's words, and I quote (well, to the extent I can remember), "That is textbook, ideal. It's so ideal I could live in there." Hahaha...he could live in there. I guess you had to be there to appreciate the moment. Good thing you weren't...Heidi doesn't like her friends looking at her vagina. I digress.

So, we are at the beginning of the end of our IVF. Tonight, in less than three hours, I'll be shooting my wife up again, one last time before the aspiration. Then I'll be taking the dog out to poop. I digress again.

Aspiration is scheduled for Saturday at 10:00 a.m. What will you be doing then? Well, you'll be praying for us, of course! I will be doing the same...plus watching the most amazing thing a mother-to-be can watch...a pair of highly trained doctors extracting the eggs of our future child from my wife's ovary. I will be looking through a high-powered microscope to see what will be our son. Or our daughter. Or, both (we are, after all, trying to convince the doctor to put three eggs back in...the chances exist). So, download Brahm's lullaby from iTunes and think of us. And pray. Pray because you love us. Pray because you know how much we want this. Pray because you know God has a lot of people trying to get his attention, it wouldn't hurt if we had a few extra voices putting a bug in his ear for us.

So we are getting ready. We are acclimating to only three solid hours of sleep without a pee or poop interruption. We are acclimating to baby, er, puppy proofing our house. We are acclimating to having our entire lives redefined by an eating schedule, a doo-doo itinerary and cooing and cheering for a successful pee-pee outside. I think we're ready. I've done the math...we're in. We're good. We're going to make a baby...