Santa Baby, I really do believe in you

We are a mere four days into our fourteen day waiting period to see of this weekend's inseminations worked. Amazing how when you are waiting for something, time creeeeppppssss by. I mean, we've had our fair share of distractions - our plumbing clogged up (so gross!), had some unfortunate family issues, which will remain off this post but distracting just the same, sickness (I have a cold...AGAIN!!!)...all distracting but not distracting enough.

Let's talk this out a little...

Since I am a glass half full kinda girl (no comments from you, Nancy!), let's talk about the positives first. Usually the day after the second insemination, Heidi gets really severe pains in her abdomen. This time...nothing! There was no pain. That was a HUGE hurdle for us and we passed it...thank you, universe! Unfortunately...it didn't last forever. But good news (yep, optimist), the pain wasn't as severe as it has been with the last two inseminations. We researched insemination side effects and there have been a lot of posts where there was cramping and bloating after the fact so we are going to chalk it up to that. The intensity was less and she's fine now.

The bad news...well, we're only on day four of fourteen days before we can test. And, technically, we aren't going to test until after that date because day fourteen is the day Heidi is in her friend's wedding. We don't want to have good news that day and overshadow the wedding celebrations and well, if you're a negative Nelly, we certainly don't want bad news. Which won't come. I feel it. I think all of the negative the universe has had to throw back at us this week has been in our plumbing. We have taken about all of the shit, literally, that we can so any equalizations that have to occur, have equalized via crap. Urine and crap, to be exact. So what does that mean? It means the universe is saving all of the good stuff. It's saving all of the good things for day fifteen and testing. And if that's what has to happen, so be it. I'll wallow through all the crap the universe has to throw at me if it means little Heidi is knocked up. Preggars. A bun in the oven. With child (singular, please!). Wearing her apron high. Up the duff. Killing that damn rabbit!!!

We have continued our little chanting, focusing now on implantation. We are willing our little blastocyst to make its way into the lining of Heidi's uterus and implant. Implant, implant, implant...say it with me, people! Implant, implant, implant.

We have also learned how when you are newly pregnant, which I just know Heidi is, that the same exact symptoms exist for being newly pregnant as with getting your period. It's kind of mean, if you're asking. I mean, really, I get that they both involve stuff happening in the uterus, but a little distinction would be fabulous for those of us TTC (Amanda, that means "trying to conceive".)

I have also learned that people who determine due dates don't know crap about dates. For example, if Heidi is pregnant, which I know she is, she is already considered two and a half weeks pregnant. Weird. Especially since we only introduced the little swimmers in there a few days ago. Yea, so, technically, if we test on April 3rd, she will have been inseminated two weeks sooner, but will be considered four weeks pregnant. How does that even frigging work?

Anywho, for those of you who do not have a Favorite marked on your Internet Explorer for calculating due dates, first of all, hit me up and I'll email you one, second of all, if Heidi is pregnant (which I know she is), her due date will be December 9th or December 10th, depending on which swimmers got there first, Fridays or Saturdays. So, I'm just telling you all right now...do not try to gyp my kid out of both a birthday gift and a Christmas gift. My best friend (I'm referring to you, Kyong) was born on December 22. I know how her parents made the big gift the one for both her birthday and Christmas. We are not going to tolerate that crap. So start budgeting now. Start shopping for both now. Why? Because I just know we are going to have a little December baby. I feel it. The universe will make this happen. Otherwise, all of the crap (and urine) I've muddled through this week will have been all for naught. Pft...that just won't work for me.

Suddenly, the song "Santa Baby" is running through my head..."Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight".