So, yesterday was day 11 in Heidi's cycle and we were due for another ultra-sound to see how many follicles she made this month. She had been taking half the dose of Clomid this past cycle in hopes that her little follicle making machine would produce a more realistic number of follicles (not nine!). Before we left, I told a friend that the magic number was going to be three...I just felt it, it would be three. We wanted three to four and for whatever reason, I was convinced it would be three. I should warn you, I tend to always be right. I'm not bragging, I'm just saying, for the record. Despite Heidi's advice to the contrary, I tend to like to point out when I'm right. Which is always. I digress.
Back to our task at hand, at the doctor's office...Dr. Welden came in also hoping to see something a little less "over-achieving" than nine. He asks about any side affects, minimal this month. Good sign. Then the ultrasound process starts...uterine lining a little thin but still thickening. Check. Right side...two large follicles, measuring almost 20 mm each and a smaller follicle, only about 13 mm that wouldn't amount to much when ovulation actually happened. Check. Left side...one large follicle. Oh baby, check, check. Yes, my friends, two plus one equals what? Three! Sidebar here...Heidi had spent this week significantly more anxious than other weeks in anticipation of the ultrasound and her hope that this time we would be able to finally inseminate. On the way to the doctor, she was more nervous than usual. I wasn't. I knew there would be three follicles. Strange thing, sometimes, you can just tell something. I don't know why, but I was pretty sure about this. I wasn't even a little worried. I just knew we were ready. We had taken so long to get to this perfect point and we had done everything right that I knew the stars had to be aligned and the gods of follicle making were in our corner. I just knew it. Felt it. I was sure. Even when the doctor asked what we thought we'd see, I said three. I felt like I played the lottery and won.
We were finally able to hear the magic words...we'll be inseminating when you ovulate. I seriously almost cried...I'm almost crying now as I type this. We were finally at the next step. Then he began talking about HCG and how that will force the ovulation and then more HCG will induce the creation of progesterone and this is good because it will first make her ovulate and then help prepare the uterus for the egg to implant. He kept throwing that word around until we both asked, "well, how does she get the HCG? Pill? Shot from the nurse? What?" And here, my friends, is where the fantabulous, amazing great feeling of success got just a hair scary...shots. Clarification: shots that I had to give her. More clarification: three shots that I had to give her in her boom-boom pow (butt for the Lawanna lingo challenged). The look on both of our faces said about the same thing - I'm not qualified to shoot her up and she's not really interested in seeing how fast I can become qualified.
Well, the nurse, God love her, gave us some instructions and let me practice on Heidi's boom-boom pow without the cap off the needle for a few tries. Heidi's arse was the center of attention while both the nurse and I measured out where to give the shot, how to measure it, how to give it. If Heidi's butt was a crime scene, there would have been finger prints all over it. We have to do the first shot Saturday night at 10:45 p.m. sharp so that Heidi will ovulate in time for the Sunday 11:15 a.m. insemination. Uh, hold up...10:45 p.m.?!? We have tickets to see Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang! Is my first experience shooting up my wife seriously going to take place in a stall in a public bathroom? I have to give her a shot in the boom-boom while watching bang-bang? Oh my...
So, there will be two inseminations, one at 11:15 a.m. on Sunday (after church for the doctor...hope he prays for us!) and the next at 10:45 a.m. on Monday. Then, another shot in the boom-boom pow on Tuesday and the last one on Friday. Whew. What an exciting, busy, scary, inseminating week we have to look forward to.
Oh and just so you know...since we were worried about the first shot and how we would explain ourselves if someone turned us in for shooting up in the bathroom, we've just decided to leave early and do it comfortably at home. Well, as comfortably as you can have a really long needle rapidly inserted into the muscle of your boom-boom pow by a completely shaky and unqualified shooter-upper. Don't worry baby, it will be fine...just close your eyes and hold your breath. We're one step closer to making a baby and yes, this might hurt a little.
